Today is a hard day. I'm not sure what triggered it, I just woke up this morning with a cloud on my head. I want to understand, for just one moment I would like to know why this is our struggle.
I know all the correct things to meditate on, I know where to find them in the bible, I have quoted them to myself 10,0000 times but today I just want to understand......!
My heart aches, my arms are empty and I'm pissed! Why....Why ....Why!!! Un-Wed mothers can, crack addicts can, stray dogs in Mexico can but I can't.It's really pitiful to feel jealous of a dog with a litter.
How do I have purpose, What was I created for if not for this. If children are a blessing from the Lord what have I done to curse myself this way. These are the thoughts that go through my mind in the middle of the night when I can't sleep.
I guess this is the ultimate test of faith for us..Hebrews 11:1 Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.
I believe the sun will shine again and this loneliness someday will end, In my mind I know that, I really wish my mind would convince my heart.
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Praying for the cloud to lift and for God's love to shine through your life.
ReplyDeleteYou are not cursed. Do not let that lie take root in your heart. You are a deeply loved daughter of God and a precious woman of faith. You have done nothing to bring a curse on yourself. May God show you clearly and unmistakably how He has and is blessing you.
Praying for your heart as you seek His. Love you.
:o)Im trying to know that. It's amazing how much we believe the lie even when we know the resounding truth. Thanks for your heart and faithfulness.
ReplyDeleteMc
Sweet girl, lovely friend. Your post brings me back to that place I also experienced. There is nothing anyone can say about the emptiness that you feel deep in your soul. You are always in my thoughts and prayers. Love you sister!
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